Travel fun

I've mastered the ways of sitting
How to think about nothing
How to sleep on my fist
Standing is the trouble--

"Your passport please"
"No, not the passport"
"Your ticket sir?"
"Your passport sir, for verification"
"Keep your shoes on!"
"Lift up your foot"
"Your other foot"
"Use the machines, not the line"
"Use the line"
"Wrong line. See stations 501-507"
"Are you carrying weapons?"