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ZA FRUIT PICNIC

jallo. We are having za fruit picnic.

We are in za darkness. CLOSE ALL ZEWINDOWS.

Babble.

A fruit picnic is a gathering of friends and/or discerning strangers. That's what the bottle said, anyway. The ritual begins with the breaking of the watermelon. By the beautiful principle of watermelon shatter the full fruit will break into equal hemispheres. The first hemisphere is known as the hard apple. The second hemisphere is the sweet apple. DUH. The person sitting nearest to the tree providing shade asks to be handed the hard apple. He then proceeds to identify the national origins of the gathered fruit. If the sweet apple is from Burgundy, the pick-eye (the guy by the tree who presides over the fruit picnic), rechristens the hard apple the “cold apple.”